Top Five Fictional Heroes (Or "Shit, I wish I was THAT guy") I know I can never outdo the success of my "Top Five Fictional Crushes" Post. But I have a statistics test on Monday to study for, so I will try anyway.

5) Detective Elliott Stabler from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Stabler is everything that I'm not. He's tough. He's badass. He doesn't take shit from anyone. He spends his free time beating up rapists and child molesters. More power to him.


4) Detective Adrian Monk from Monk - On the other hand, Monk is an exaggerated version of everything that I am. Monk is probably the most uncool person to make this list. Monk is a brilliant detective with a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder and a preoccupation with his dearly departed wife. But man, can that dude solve a crime!


3) Professor Charles Xavier (Professor X) from X-Men - Behind the pacifist outlook and moral fiber than make Charles Xavier is the most powerful mind on the planet. At his greatest, Professor X is an inspiring leader. At his worst, he just kicks a whole lotta ass.


2) Drizzt Do'Urden from The Legend of Drizzt - Take a cauldron, toss in 2 scimitars, a magic panther, and a big bottle of emo. POOF! What do you get? Drizzt Do'Urden.


1) Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) from X-Men - You guessed it. Sorry Spider-man, but Kurt is a hero to be admired. This swashbuckler doesn't let his monstrous visage keep him from charming all of the ladies. He has super-human agility, a prehensile tail, and the ability to teleport.
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